This Life Ain't Easy

One of things that's hardest to do is to understand this life ain't easy. Yeah being a young, black, christian, female is looked upon, by some people, as a positive thing but it's also a hard situation. The conflict between the natural man & the spiritual man seems to intensify with each passing day. I mean isn't life suppose to be easier? Aren't I suppose to the feel relief after I accepted Christ? Then why so much turmoil, pain, hurt? I did what I was supposed to do, I came to Christ, but at times it feels like I'm being penalized for doing so. 

This is a loving God, a caring God... then why has He allowed me to go through some of the things I've gone through. Things I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. What did I do to deserve some of these things? Did I really mess up that bad? My mind is blown I can't fathom the reasoning...